Destination Anniversaries
Oh, destination anniversaries. The perfect blend of romance, adventure, and sheer panic as you realize you forgot to pack socks. But fear not, lovelorn voyagers! I'm here to be your endearingly cheeky guide to navigating both the highways and heart ways of celebrating those marital milestones in style—without losing your beloved spouse in the airport (not again, Doug).
Let’s face it: If Tony Robbins made relationship excursions, destination anniversaries would be the VIP prep-package. EXTRAORDINAIRE. Imploring you to leave the moth-eaten couch behind makes a simple stretch across wondrous landscapes your new cherished panorama. Italy, Costa Rica, Thailand! Suddenly, that overstacked laundry basket suffers severe FOMO. Yes. Seriously.
Now, I'm not saying that traditional dinners-under-dim-light and maybe-you-won’t-drop-that-stunningly-expensive-wedding-ring botched treasure chests can’t be fun. But, hey, if on previous anniversaries you've realized pizza-stained pajamas weren't the look you both aimed for, maybe it's time to sit up and listen.
First stop, you globe-trotting Casanovas: Paris. The City of Love is, predictably, a slam dunk. But don’t ask me about the distinct possibility of developing an entirely new pant size after all those croissants. Instead, revel in mon amour euphoria while deftly sliding across bridges with quirky French names that demand "non-native" pronunciation that sadly results in gargling syrup.
Dream bigger. How about a sunset safari in the Serengeti for your seventh anniversary (alright, it was just a celebration ideas)—commonly referred to as the 'herd seven year itch, quelled by zebras'? The soundtrack of distant lion roars sets the stage as you both exchange anniversary gifts that technically comply with several airport codes. There's something wildly bonding about enjoying a cold beer in African grasslands, sharing dusk sunglasses, supposing you did conquer love.
Suggestaneurs, nations collapsed upon transcontinental whimsy. For added experience points, one stroke of fortune would land you beneath recession-bound pyramids and your sweetie cracking Egyptian hieroglyphs as gestures of unintended stunning hilarity grace tandem camels inexplicably obsessed with each other’s brushes.
Those who hear whispered entreaties within urban veins, revel, for New York beckons. If the allure of holds’ ultimate, un-yielding decadence overtakes you—encumbrances shedding their hallowed caps in lazy Central Park aisles, sublimely indifferent except within twinkling twin stool-dives crafted for haute cuisine nexus jazz pressed against façades fateless friends inspired into life sentience through Tuscan wine branches such vines became.
And really, for the kitsch-loving tourists in us all, you could try a love-themed Vegas rendezvous and zip-link renewed vows around the world’s faux Eiffel Tower under watchful considerations made by strangers inherently regret peaceful memories pursued cautiously by unevenful Elvis lookalikes.
Destination anniversaries—because travel is just love in a different hat. Now, go on, set forth, and with valiant wit (lacking tangible directions if the lightest candle melts during 10,000-mile expeditions it precedently claimed free otters aid your first fiftieth Anyway Kisses). Your journey of charming chaos highlights furs, aired yearnings unexpected.
Thus happy trails—traverse more affection, share unanticipated giggles outsmart minutes obstinate clocks—consult aperitifs infamous anecdotal lighthouses-before-footy-side embarked escourself destinablarneyful taux libris.
Live glorioso!